Sunday, July 14, 2013


I found out today that when I quit my job as assistant with Dayna Martin, she told her close personal friends that "She told me you used to work for her, but you kept trying to steal her ideas and lie about her, so she fired you. You continued to stalk her after all of that, She mentioned something in there about you being bipolar and that Joe hated you."

And instead of (how I did at first) respond with anger, I will just show you that I was NOT fired....this is the email in which I sent to her telling her I QUIT, not being fired:  (upon posting this directly on Dayna's page, she blocked me)

Wow, I am so confused here....I had to read in a post on FACEBOOK that you gave part of my job to someone else rather than you telling me?  Talk about no communication here!  Wow.  I guess I really do have the right to feel the way I do.   Part of the reason I couldn't do my job right with getting you speaking gigs and whatnot, was because I had no communication from you most of the time.  For one, I asked you to please write me a thing for the anarchy conferences because I am not educated enough on anarchy, and you said you would after Australia, but you never did.  Then when you asked me to find you a place on Chicago, you never communicated what price range you wanted me to look for, and that caused me to do a whole lot of research and call a whole lot of people....and in the end they were all wrong as they were out of your price range.  It was a serious waste of my time. 

I can't put 110% of effort into this job if I don't feel like I am getting that back from you.  I need communcation from you.  You never tell me when you post a new blog, so I sometimes miss them, and this time I missed 3 of them.  I must remind you that I am getting paid less than a dollar a day to do this job, and while I feel that is fair, you also have to understand that this job is WAY less than part-time and I have my own business I am trying to launch, my own classes I teach, my own children to take care of, my own books that I am writing, and so much more.  If I don't get complete communication from you in EXACTLY 100% of what you want, then its a waste of my time for less than a dollar a day doing things that are not needed of me.  I was happy to do these jobs, but I really feel that my time was being wasted.  Granted, I have a new set of jobs now, but before...think about it: I had to contact all of these places and conferences with information that I really didn't know what I was talking about because you only told me bits of pieces of what you wanted, I had to wait for their phone calls back from them, then I had to contact you, to see if that's whay you wanted, you would usually tell me "no" and I'd have to start over again.  That seriously took up a HUGE part of my days for awhile.  I was seriously not getting paid enough to do that kind of job.  That's not to mention all of the places I had to email for conferences, filing each one, educating myself on the type of conference to see if it was a good fit, then after they'd politely say no, I'd have to then file them under when the conference was to find them again next year, and all of that jazz.  That took up HUGE chunks of my time.  Time, as an unschooling mom, I need to spend with my kids since I wasn't getting actually paid for any of it (a percentage of 0 is still  0).

Another thing about communication is: connection.  When someone works for you, they need to feel connected to you otherwise they do not feel like doing their job is important.  Goddess Leonie has got it right, she talks to her assistant constantly and posts on her Facebook all the time.  They usually "connect" as friends, which is very important.  I feel very distant from you.  You NEVER post on what I am doing in my life, nor do you ever even ask me and that feels as though you don't support me.  How can I feel connected to you like that?  An assistant needs to really BE connected to their boss.  No, you treat me like one of your fans, which I am not.  I am your assistant.  In all actuality, the opposite is happening here, instead of connected, I am feeling very bitter toward you.  I feel very DIS-connected from you.  You are more connected with your fans than you are me.  We need to support each other, not just me supporting you.  I am not asking you to comment on everything I say or read my blog on a daily basis, but I do ask for something.  The once in awhile "pep talk" "Jamie I am so lucky to have you!" means nothing without actions to back that up.  If you truly felt lucky to have me, you would been supportive of me as well.  One possible way was to have asked to read MY book (I wrote a children's book, so instead of you, your kids could have read it--for free) or you could have supported something I write one one of the many things I post either on FB or my blog or whatever.  But you NEVER say anything.  EVER.   Even on the phone, I can feel your anxiousness to hang up as quick as possible when I start talking about my life or kids.  You have NO interest in me..AT ALL.  

Now, how can I feel motivated to do my work and promote you, when I have a boss like that?  It would have been better off leaving me as a fan instead of pulling back the curtain of the Wizard to see the self-absorbed woman underneath (sorry to say this, but its true...with the way you treat me, you ARE being self-absorbed).  I would have supported you FOR FREE if I was just a fan.  I would have blogged about you, I would have promoted your book, willingly and happily.

Now, well, I don't know what I feel.  I do support your cause and some of what you say (not 100%), but I don't feel that I am valued as your assistant and you need to learn that being a boss and having someone work for you: this is not the right way to do it.  Take the words I have said and put them to use when you hire someone else because I refuse to be undervalued anymore.  I am worth so much more than this as someone's assistant.  You take forever to email me back with questions, too.....and now you've posted ONLINE before you told me you gave part of my job away to someone else.  The proverbial straw......another waste of my time, prooreading your blogs when you're paying someone else to do so (which means its already done so its REALLY a waste of my time).  ::::sigh:::::
I feel very let down here.  I re-read my journal the other day and saw how excited I was to get the job with you.  So many of my journal entries have been filled with the way that you've changed my life.  And now, those pages are colored with my negative view of how this job as made me see you.  I seriously would have been better off being just your fan.  One of my blog posts was about "idols", and part of it was referencing you: how I really looked up to you, and how I feel almost ashamed for thinking at one point you were better than me.  I now no longer feel that way, but instead of feeling equal to you, the way it should be....I don't know what I feel.  I know if I had an assistant how I'd treat them...and that's not what I am getting here.  I know for one, that the way to get someone to support you and want to help you achieve your dreams, is to do the same for them.  Makes me feel that all that stuff you post about treating everyone as equals-your kids, etc., is a lie.  You don't treat me as an equal, you treat me as boring, copy/paste lackey.  Nothing more.  You don't know anything about my family, how my radical unschooling path is going, not anything.  You don't know my business plans that I am embarking on, to make 2012 AWESOME and the fact I had posted on my Facebook page that I am not attending your conference (I think I posted that at the beginning of the month), you didn't even know....or maybe you didn't care?  For being an "empath", you sure don't know how to connect with others as much as you think you do.

I could go on and on, but I am done.  You get it.  With your next assistant, find someone that can either tolerate your disconnection with them or change the way you run your business life.  OR just keep having your assistants quit.  You can change and it will be better, but its too late for me to change my mind about you.  I am too jaded by all of this.
I am just so let down by you, right now.  I've felt this way while since pretty much the beginning, but I thought it was my imagination and empathic nature....but now I know to trust what I feel.  Because I was right all along.  The first thing that really, really pushed me into the direction that you weren't the person I thought you were, was when you asked me to defraud the library in MY name.  The fact that you'd want to misuse the institution that so many homeschoolers need for their everyday lives is bad enough, but then you wanted me to put it in MY name.  That you were okay with ME getting into trouble when you got caught.  And you would have.  Honesty is a big thing with me, right then and there I got off the phone with you and looked at my mother said, "I just don't think I can support this woman anymore."  But again, I thought it was my over-reactive mind, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized you didn't value me AT ALL if you were willing to have me take the fall when you got caught.  What does that say to me about my boss and how that boss views me?  Makes me feel that I was "little person" for you to step on, on your way up the "fame ladder".  

I don't know where I am right with this, but I do know that I still want to connect with people on your facebook page, I enjoy that as I am still on the Radical Unschooling path.   And even though this message is angry, I want to work out this anger and let go of it so I can still learn from you and not regret having taken this job.  But its going to take awhile.  


I'll leave it for you to decide who is lying. 

If you are one of the people that was told this about me, please feel free to comment.